To convince your children to do things they don’t want to do can be challenging. To stop them doing things they really want to do can be even trickier. Parents should be very patient and intelligent.
Most of the parents try their best to figure out how to train kids to pick up things, not drop things, do homework, brush teeth and so on. But all don’t work out well.
There’re couple ways to drive your kids to improve their behavior:
1, Right ways of rewards
Jennifer’s daughter Miya used to sleep with her grandmother until she was 6 years old. Jennifer started to train Miya to sleep alone. The first couple nights were difficult, Miya always woke up during the midnight and woke Jennifer up too. Jennifer tried to buy Miya few toys and give them names, call them Miya’s friends, and also told her we could do something she liked together if she could stop waking up during the midnight. After 2-3 weeks, Miya hadn’t woken up during the midnights anymore.
Also, a lot of teachers in primary schools use this kind of reward style to motivate students when they behave themselves well.
It’s just a simple way to motivate the smaller kids. Should always find the different ways to motivate them after they grow up more.
2, Always tell them how good they are when they try the good things
Children need praise. If you want to motivate them, focus on their effort more than the end result. When your child shows you a picture he made, don’t just say it’s great. Praise him for how hard he worked on it. Note specific details.
If your child is trying to learn a new sport, talk about how proud you are that he’s practicing kicks or running. Don’t focus on winning or losing a game.
3, Lead them to correct the faults, show your trust and confidence on them
Kids often make mistakes. Because they are learning. Instead of shouting or yelling at them, and punishing them right away when they make mistake, a meaningful one-on-one conversation will help them better to understand how to avoid repeating the same mistakes and do it better.
Don’t forget always tell your kids that you trust them, and you have confidence about them. That will encourage them to correct the faults.
4, Encourage them to express their opinions and make choices
They can select their own extracurricular activities. Ask for their input on family decisions, and show that you value it.
Instead of ordering your kids to do a chore, give them options. Ask if they would prefer to take out the trash or empty the dishwasher.
Kids fight back when they feel like they have no control. None of us likes to feel controlled, especially little kids. Children like to believe that what they are doing was their choice rather than an obligation.
Resisting you becomes a way of asserting themselves. Giving them some say will help motivate them.
Plus, giving them choices now teaches them how to make healthy choices later.
5, Embrace their imperfections
Most young kids actually enjoy select chores if you can relax your standards about how well and how quickly they should get done.
It’s sad to watch children between 3 to 5 years old losing their love of doing chores. For example, some like sorting warm laundry and matching socks, but they stop because parents can be too rushed and too picky.
Focus on the fact that your child gets his comforter off the floor instead of that it’s hanging unevenly, and praise the effort. And if there are certain jobs your kid’s love, make sure that they get those jobs.
As for the jobs your kids dislike, using a little creativity can make them more appealing: Use a puppet to ask your child to please clean up her shoes, or challenge her to race Daddy to bed.
6, Express your appreciation to your kids
Let’s say your child woke up when the alarm went off and got ready for school on his own. Or he stayed in bed all night rather than waking you at 3 a.m. and hopping into your bed. Be sure to let him know how much you appreciate his efforts and don’t forget to add how nice it was to ride with him to school without feeling rushed, or how well-rested you feel from that uninterrupted night’s sleep.
Kids like to please their parents. That sense of connection is powerfully motivating. Praise your kids when you mean it, but be careful about how you praise; focus on effort and growth more than an outcome. Also, when they hit the home run or land the lead in the school play, be careful that your pleasure doesn’t swamp theirs. We want the excitement to be theirs, so it isn’t all about us.
7, Be a good life model for your kids
Want your child to eat her vegetable? Eat your vegetables.
Go for a walk together to show her that moving is fun.
Kids begin to mimic elders at a very young age. The parents are the best role model children can have. So start early.